Kauna Dil Chahata Hai What The Heart Wants
by Una
Summary: Missing scenes from the movie Dilwale Dulhania Le Jeyange. First written for bollywhat dot com in April 2005. These are just some little scenes to make some sense in the pacing of the original movie.
1. Chapter 1

This is a companion piece for Dilawe Dulhania Le Jayenge, especially it is set directly after the Zara Sa Jhoom Loon Main song and explains why Raj was lying to Simran in the morning about how they had spent the night (he makes her believe they did it which devastates Simran and Raj realizes this is a joke gone too far). 

For those who haven't seen the movie, well it is a movie about Raj and Simran who meet up on a Eurail journey through Switzerland, France and so on. First they don't like each other, but Raj who is a born prankster and can never be serious, falls for the more serious minded Simran. And when they miss the train, their journey to Zurich becomes a journey of love. Unfortunately, this trip through Europe will be the last time for Simran to be really free, as her father has arranged marriage with the son of his best friend back in Punjab. Simran never has seen this Kuljit she is about to marry, and even though she falls for Raj, she is determined to follow her father's wishes.

Now it is up to Raj whether the true lover comes home with the bride or not. Will the prankster turn serious enough to capture the heart and hand of his loved one forever?

**Kauna Dil Chahata Hai (What The Heart Desires)**

By Una

"Simran, come on," Raj exclaimed and tried to prop the now completely intoxicated young woman against the wall while he fumbled for the lock. The young woman was propped up against the wall but every time Raj tried to open the door, she slid slowly down the floor.

"No, no, no," He jumped and held her up by her arms. "Oh Simran," he said exasperated and shook his head. "You are soo totally gone, girl."

After a lot of shoving, propping up and pulling Raj finally managed to get Simran into the bedroom and onto the bed. He wasn't sure what to do. Of course, the first thing that came to mind was to leave immediately. Had she not been more than insistent on not sharing the room with him? He should go, like right now. But watching Simran as she lay sprawled across the bed, he knew she would be totally uncomfortable come morning. he had to get her out of her clothes ... well at least some of them anyway.

"Ok, Raj, you can do it. It's not as if this is the first girl you get out of clothes ..." With a puff of air into his hair, he bend down to capture one of Simran's feet. Soon he had divested her of her boots and he was contemplating about removing her shirt and skirt when he noticed her changed breathing.

"What are you doing?" Simran asked, her eyes only barely open while she watched Raj bending over her.

"Me? Nothing, well ... I did remove your boots." Raj grinned down at her.

"Oh well, thank you," she swung her legs over and sat heavily while she started to untie her blouse. "That is really nice of you, Raj ..."

"Ehh.. Sim... Simran ... I don't think that is such a good idea, wait till I'm gone ... while you .. um... do whatever you are ... doing."

"Come - go ... whatever ..." with a vague wave of her hand Simran tried to shrug out of her blouse but didn't succeed. "Oh, pish, this is ... Raj? You know, I don't feel very good ... "

"Oh no, Simran!" Raj was by her side immediately, but Simran had passed out for good now. For a moment he thought about leaving her slumped down on the side of the bed but he knew she would either end up falling off the bed or ... or ...

"Rabba mere, mainu bacha," he gulped as his eyes roamed her prone form. "You can do it, Raj. Just grab her legs, move her fully onto the bed, and then leave." Focusing his eyes on nothing but her legs he slowly moved her so that she was fully lying on the bed, but soon he noticed that her blouse was almost strangling her.

"Oh no," with a shake of the head, he stopped and dragged a shuddering breath into his lungs. "This is NOT happening." Squeezing his eyes shut, he eased the blouse from around her shoulders and then knowing he couldn't just leave her in her bra like this, he went over to his backpack and began rummaging through his things. His white shirt was still less worse for wear so he decided that Simran had to do with this. Raj couldn't help but notice the ridiculousness of the whole situation, here he was with a half naked girl and all he wanted to do was to cover her up before she woke up again. This was a new low to Raj Malholtra, cool dude, and if his friends were ever to hear about this he would be the laughing stock for the rest of his earthly life.

Puffing out another sigh, he carefully eased his shirt around and under Simran's prone form, squeezing his eyes shut and trying desperately to ignore the perfect tone of her shoulders or the beautiful globes encased in lacy white silk. Silk he had touched already, on that first day of their journey, silk that made her skin look so delectable ...

_STOP IT RAJ!_ he chided himself. You are fantasising about the future mother of your children.

The shock let him pause for the longest while.

_Oh shit, where has this come from? Future mother of his children?_ For a moment Raj just sat there and stared at her face. She looked so beautiful and innocent and yet so incredibly sexy and he knew just as he knew he loved his father that she was THE ONE.

"Great, just great," he muttered under his breath and managed to button up his shirt in front, every time his fingers touched her skin accidentally a jolt of awareness surged through him and he had to fight the sudden urge to just lay down beside her and keep her in his arms forever. Of course that was not gentlemanly. She was _pavitra_, a virgin, and if she was to be the mother of their children, well then Raj would have to do it the right way, the Hindustani way.

After he had managed to close the shirt and also had managed to remove her skirt, exposing her legs to his gaze, he huffed out a shaky breath. Covering her with the duvet, he slid down onto the ground before the bed and for a moment he just buried his face in his hands.

"That should gain me a sainthood, pops," he whispered under his breath. He scrambled to his feet and watched Simran who slept peacefully ensconced in the bed. "I hope you will thank me for this, Simi."

Simran had the most astounding dream. Her dream face, the one of her loved one, was not a dream at all. He was gazing down on her with concerned yet beautiful soulfull eyes. She could make out the barest dimple on his cheek and for a moment she just sighed and let the warmth of a feeling she was not yet completely sure what it was wash over her. She knew this was the man she wanted to marry, he was not a faceless entity anymore. This was Raj, her _preyasi_ - her beloved. She reached out until her fingers enclosed his wrist.

"Aa tujhe choom loon main ..." she whispered, smiling.

"No, Simran, this is NOT a good idea," Raj managed to utter before he lost his balance and almost landed on top of her.

"... choom loon main ..." With a sigh, Simran settled herself against Raj, her hand resting on his chest, feeling his heartbeat while sweet slumber overtook her completely.

"Simran?" He asked but everytime he tried to pry her off, she clung to him and after this kind of tug-of-war for more than ten minutes, Raj settled back and stared at the ceiling.

Conflicting emotions raged through him and he had a hard time to get some sort of control over his raging emotions and over his body's reaction to the warm, soft body so snugly fitting against his side. Knowing he wouldn't get a wink of sleep, Raj settled himself. Cradling her head against his shoulder and enclosing her hand with his own, he breathed in the fragrance of her hair.

If anyone ever got wind about this he would never be able to live it down. For a moment he chuckled silently. Well, this might be the most awful night in his life, but it was also the most wonderful. He looked forward to a lifetime of these nights, Simran in his arms, in their bed. _A lifetime_ ... he closed his eyes only to open them again when he heard a gentle snore.

Future mother of his children or not, he would make her pay for this stunt come morning.

© April 2005


	2. Chapter 2

A missing scene between Raj finding out that Simran's family has left for India and him turning up at her doorstep/mustard field so unexpected :)

**  
Kauna Dil Chahata Hai - take 2**

Raj stared at the cow bell that was lying on his bed. The first surge of joy he had felt when he had first spotted the bell at Simran's door was completely gone now. All the way back on his motorbike he had wrecked his brain how he could find out where exactly in Punjab her family was coming from but the family name Singh was a penny per dozen in Punjab.

For a moment the whole expanse of the situation unfolded in front of him. How was he ever to find Simran? How was he ever to find her and take her as his bride? 

With a sigh he lay down on his bed and stared up at the ceiling. If he closed his eyes he could still see Simran's beautiful face, the length of her lashes on which he could possibly contemplate on for the rest of his life, or the perfect curve of her cheek which could lead him to yet another lifetime of contemplation and adoration. The sudden ache he felt almost overwhelmed him. Rubbing his chest where his heart beat behind his ribs, he picked up the bell and cradled it in his arms. The dull sound of the bell let him frown, it's sad, obtuse sound a perfect reflection of his current situation. the bell dully rang again and Raj frowned.

"What the ..." he bit back the expletive and sat up. Turning the bell and peering into the depth of its gaping opening he could barely see the bobbin. But when he turned it just this way into the light ... he frowned... there was something stuck. Something white was gleaming in the poor light of his room and tentatively he stuck his hand into themouth of the bell and fumbled with the bobbin. Something was stuck there and from the crinkling sound it seemed to be a piece of paper. With his heart beating a mad tattoo, he slowly almost gingerly extracted the carefully folded paper.

For a moment the white of the paper blinded him, flashed before his eyes and his hands started to shake. Was this the answer to his prayers? Had Simran had given him a clue? Did she feel the same about him as he did for her? 

"Rabba mere, mainu bacha," he send with baited breath as he unfolded the note.

_Mujhe tumse dil se pyar hai - I love you with all my heart_

"Simran ... Dil kee gaharaeon se - from the bottom of my heart," Raj whispered as the writing blurred before his eyes. He could barely make out the address through the tears that threatened to spill out onto the paper, marring the script forever. Wiping his eyes, he was about to get up when his father stuck his head into his room.

"Raj?" His bauji asked and Raj laughed out loud.

"Pops!" He got up and crossed the room in record time. "She loves me, Pops, Simran loves me. I'll be going to India!" Hugging and kissing his father, his thoughts were already in Punjab. _I'm coming, Simran, Hum Ho Gaye Aap Ke, Sanam (I'm yours now, beloved)_

© April 2005


	3. Chapter 3

A missing scene between Raj finding out that Simran's family has left for India and him turning up at her doorstep/mustard field so unexpectedly :)

**  
Kauna Dil Chahata Hai - take 3**

Karwa Chauth

The noise of the two wedding crowds was almost deafening but Raj didn't seem to hear it. For most of the morning he had kept himself busy, avoiding to eat as unsuspiciously as possible. He was fasting .. for Simran. When he had watched Kuljit eating a hearty breakfast, something like rage had risen in him. How dare Kuljit not to honour Simran like this and share her fast? Did she not mean anything to him?

He had been so blinded by his urge to just throttle Kuljit for his insensitivity, that the small voice inside his head had been almost drowned out by the roaring of his blood. _Be happy she doesn't mean anything to him, Raj,_ the voice told him. _She means everything to you, but nothing to him._

Taking a deep breath Raj had been able to overcome the anger, even more determined to win Simran's hand from her father. Didn't Bauji see that Kuljit was not worthy of her? That he would mistreat her and could never give her the happiness only he, Raj, could give? Could he?  
Day by day his determination both grew and faltered more and more. He wanted so badly to do the right thing. But what was the right thing? Eloping? Or staying on, courting heart ache, seeing Simran but not touching, claiming her.

He had never thought he would have a streak of martyrdom in himself, but looking back on the past days, he could see that there was a lot of him he had not recognised in himself. Honour, trust .. these had been concepts which had not played a large part in his life. His life had been full of fun and laughter and playing jokes on others.  
When he had told his father that his days of youth had been over, he wasn't so far from the truth. The days of his senseless fun-loving days were over ...

Raj waited for the feeling of regret welling up inside but nothing came. Just the gnawing ache for Simran, or perhaps the blunt edge of hunger. He didn't know.

"Raj?" Chutki stepped up to him and waited till he looked up from where he was sitting. "What is wrong?"

"Ah, Chutki-ji, what should be wrong?" Raj said, pasting a smile onto his face. "Just thinking about how my wedding will be ... one day ..." He laughed and tried to get up, but Chutki slipped down beside him, a hand on his shoulder.

"Nay, Raj," Chutki shook her head. "I know you are Simran's Raj. The one she met in Europe." 

"You know?" He was surprised but shouldn't be. Chutki, for all of her thirteen years, was wise beyond her years. the girl nodded and patted his knee, staring off into the distance. For a moment Raj was tempted to ask her what she thought about him and Simran or if she would tell her father, but then decided against it. Small things happen in big places, if she told everyone he had to deal with it ... if she didn't he had to deal with it as well. 

"Jeejaa ... when will you take your bride away?" 

"What?" Raj asked shocked.

"I asked you ..." Chutki started but Raj shook his head. "I know what you asked but what did you call me?"

"Jeejaa, you will become my brother, won't you? You don't let Simran marry this idiot Kuljit?"

"No, of course not. I just ...," Raj shrugged his shoulders and turned towards Chutki. "I am slowly running out of options. Your bauji is a tough nut." 

Chutki sighed and nodded. "I know. But you have to be persistent."

"I will be, I promise, Chutki-bahana." Both grinned at each other, and Chutki stood up, holding out her hand toward him.

"Come, Raj-jeejee, let us eat."

"Ah, Chutki, I'll stay here ... I am not hungry," Raj said trying to avoid the inquisitive gaze of Simran's little sister. After a moment, she smiled and nodded.

"Very well, jeejee, I wish you a happy, cleansing Karwa Chauth. Simran will be very pleased to know you are keeping fast with her." With another nod she turned away.

Raj stood up quickly and took a step towards her. "Chutki, please don't tell Sim I am fasting with her. She will only fret ... besides ... it is not common that a man ... you know," Embarrassed he moved his hand through his hair, as if the gesture could cover his embarrassment. Chutki smiled and stepped towards him. Reaching up, she cradled his face in her small hands and drawing him down to her, put a soft kiss on his cheek.

"I'm glad you will be my jeejee, Raj."

He watched Chutki skipping away and for the first time since this morning, Raj felt happiness in his heart again.

© April 2005


	4. Chapter 4

Here is another _missing scene_ - this time Simran's POV - hopefully I can show that inside of her she is also making a transformation. Well anyway, that is how I see Simran's character.

**  
Kauna Dil Chahata Hai - take 4**

Simran's journey to India 

Simran watched silently as London-Heathrow airport grew smaller and smaller in the distance as the plane took on more altitude. The checkerboard suburbs with the green parks grew dim. All her life England had been her home and she felt a sharp pain in her heart as she watched leaving everything behind that had become important in her life. Her friends, her schoolmates ... Raj. Somewhere down there, she thought dully, is Raj. A month ago his name, his face, had meant nothing to her but now it meant everything. Everything she ever wanted but couldn't possibly reach.

"Didi," a soft voice to her right whispered and Simran looked over to her sister. Behind her spectacles Chutki looked so serious, too serious and concerned, so that Simran forced a smile onto her lips.

"Are you looking forward to India?" Simran asked and watched as Chutki shook her head.

"No, not when the thought of India makes you so sad."

"India is the mother. It is high time you two will return to her. England has seduced you, Simran, you would not have lied to me and brought shame to your family if you had been born in Punjab."

For the umpteenth time Simran tried to tell her babuji that she had not shamed the family but when she opened her mouth, her mother's gentle hand settled on her knee.  
Silence ... silence would be best. To endure the years ahead of her in silence, just existing and not living or dreaming. Raj ... How prophetic her poetry had been. _Someone raps upon my heart - deep eyes want to give myself up to him - in my hands I see his face etched into my mind_

She felt an ice-cold fist settling around her heart. What could she do? What escape would present herself? Why had she so foolishly left the cow bell at her former home? Did she really think Raj was in love with her just as she was in love with him?

_"I love you, Simran ..."_ Oh Lord, she longed to hear those words again. How she longed to believe them ... How she longed for Raj to really mean them.

_Or will you have the courage to have an affair with me?_

But now as she had found the courage, it was too late. How foolish she had been to think she could escape this marriage. She had been so naive in her belief that her babuji would respect her as a human being with a free will rather than seeing her as a dutiful, subdued daughter.

She could not go through with this farce. She just could not. How could she bear the touch of a man other than Raj? How can she bear children other than those of Raj Malhotra?  
The vise around her heart tightened and she closed her eyes against the tears that wanted to spill. She felt her mother's comforting touch, knew that her mother at least was sympathetic. After a moment, when she looked up she saw the hard stare of her bauji and she knew she could not escape.

"Raj," she whispered under her breath like a mantra. Only the Gods could work a miracle now ... but the small church in Switzerland was far away, no God, Christian, Hindu or otherwise could help her. Simran Singh was alone, and her future life stretched like a vast desert in front of her mind's eye.

© April 2005


End file.
